Fate Redo
by Pistachio Macaron
Summary: All Arthur wanted was to save her precious kingdom. The Holy Grail took pity on her and granted her wish to relive her days in Camelot, in one condition. She has to rule as a girl to make a great change.
1. Rebirth

Author's notes: I do not own FSN or FZ

This story might be OOC, so please bear with it.

Please no flames, I'm just fourteen.

Mordred and Arthur are twins in this fic.

Some details in this story are different from the ones in FSN and FZ.

Morgause is Arthur's cousin, instead of being her sister.

* * *

Surrounded in darkness.

Everything is done...

The Holy Grail War is done...

I could have gotten a chance to grab the grail. I had to chances to claim it and make things right. I needed to save my kingdom, my people, and especially Lancelot. Everything was my fault. All my fault. I wanted Lancelot to be happy with Guinevere. I wanted to see both of them happy.

"Please, give me another chance to fight for the grail!" I need to make things right.

I want to redo everything in Camelot.

"I need one last chance to join the Grail War, please!" I begged.

Tears streamed down my eyes like a great big rapid river. 'Hush child. Because you are very determined, I will do as you wish. You are not to join the Holy Grail War, but instead, I will grant your wish,' the Holy Grail appeared.

"You'll really grant my wish," Finally, a chance to change my fate.

'Don't get too excited. There's a catch. The only way for you to make things right is to make your people accept you to rule as a woman,' the grail assured.

"If I don't, what will happen?"

'The same thing will happen like in your past life. Nothing will change at you accept this? It will be great challenge for you.'

"I accept. I know it will hard for me to be a girl, to be myself again. I will gladly accept."

'Very well then. Before I grant your wish, I need to tell you that you have to prevent Lancelot from being with Guinevere.'

"Why?" '

They were the reason of your downfall right? Just do as I say, trust my words.'

"I trust your words."

Suddenly, the pitch black space vanished before my very eyes.

Everything will be redone...


	2. Birth

_Everything started all over again..._

"Merlin! Is my child born?" Uther Pendragon walked in circles in a very anxious manner.

"Your majesty, your child is already born," Merlin said with a sigh.

A faint cry of a child can be heard. Uther with a smile on his face, rushed to his wife.

When he arrived to his chambers, he saw his wife holding two children.

"Finally, I have an heir. I have sons," The king of Camelot said gladly.

"Uther, both of our children aren't male.

They're both girls," Igraine smiled sweetly. Uther's smile disappeared.

"We have daughters instead! How can I have an heir if both of these children are girls. Who would replace me if I was gone? Who? I cannot accept this," his voice was mixed with despair and anger.

"Uther, what do you want me to do? Throw these children away? They are our daughters and we should love them unconditionally," Igraine held both of her daughters even tighter, "if you don't like our daughters, it's fine if you stay away from them. I'm alright with that, just don't hurt them," The queen pleaded.

"As you wish," Uther took a deep breath and kissed his wife on the forehead.

An hour later when the king stayed in his study room, Morgan and Elaine entered the chambers of the two infants. Morgan was six years old and Elaine was four.

"Aren't our sisters adorable, Morgan?" Elaine said with awe.

"Not at all, I think they're just wee demons. That's what Uther said," Morgan's voice was filled with hatred for a little girl.

"Don't you mean father?" The four year old princess said happily.

"Uther Pendragon is not our real father, Elaine! He was the one who killed our real father to marry our mother," Morgan's eyes were welled with hot tears.

"But at least King Uther loves our mother and we also have new sisters," Elaine said optimistically.

"They're not our sisters, they're just our step or half sisters," Morgan gazed down at the infants with murderous look. "I wouldn't even dare to call them my sisters!"

"Morgan, Elaine, what brings you here," Queen Igraine entered the room.

"I just wanted to see my sisters," Elaine said with full innocence, "do they have names mother?"

"I haven't thought of that yet, but I think I have some great names," the golden blonde queen scooped both infants in her arms.

_One week later..._

"Uther, I'll leave you with the twins, since I'm going out with Morgan and Elaine," his queen left holding both children's hands.

He could see them leaving the castle from his window. 'Great, I'm left with these _good for nothing children,' _he thought to himself. The babies started crying. He sighed and carried the two babies. Uther carried his children while heading to the throne room. He sat on his throne and looked around. The place was empty.

He was stuck with two infants. The baby with light golden blonde hair stared quietly, while the dirty blonde baby was gnawing on her hands. Uther stared at his daughters. One of them yawned lightly. It was Surprisingly a heartwarming sight for the king. The other child held his thumb and giggled. It was really adorable. 'What type of person would try to murder such innocence?' Uther thought, 'only a monster would have done that, that was me.' When he looked down at his arms, he saw both babies were asleep and one of the, was still clutching onto his thumb. He felt guilty for trying to get rid of these infants. These were his children. It was a father's job to love his children unconditionally.

The king of Britain laid both of his sleeping daughters in there crib and watched over them the whole day.

"Uther, I'm baaack!" Igraine busted through the doors.

"Shhh, Arturia and Mordred are asleep," Uther said.

"Who's Arturia and Mordred?" Igraine gave a curious look.

"Our daughters," Uther smiled.

"Our daughters? You finally gave in huh?" Igraine held her husband's hand.

"Yes, I finally gave in. Igraine, want both of us to raise our little girls," Uther held Arturia, while Igraine had Mordred.

"I'm glad you said that," she laid her head on her husband's muscular shoulder.

_Two months later..._

"Why can't we keep them, Merlin!" Uther's voice was filled with authority.

"I apologize, your majesty, but it's too dangerous for both of your daughters to stay at the palace," Merlin's voiced shook with fear.

"We kept their births a secret anyway. We could have them," Igraine was really worried.

"I have an idea," the mage's face lit up.

"What is it?" The king and queen said at the same time.

"I propose to you that you keep one of your daughters and give one of them to someone you trust," Merlin knew that this was the only way.

"How can I give one of them away if I don't know who to trust?" Uther raised on of his eyebrows.

"Why not Sir Ector?" Igraine suggested.

"Are you sure we could trust him?" The king tried to make sure he would entrust one of his daughters with the right person.

"He is my cousin," the blonde haired queen felt a little offended.

"Who will we give to Sir Ector, then?" Uther asked the mage.

"I think we should give the eldest one, Arturia," Merlin answered.

"Are you sure it's the right decision?" Igraine embraced her husband's arm tightly.

"You train Mordred to be the king you want her to be, while Ector will do the same too. So, if one fails to be king, the other will replace the one that failed," the snow haired mage explained.

"I think this is for the better," Uther pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Later that night..._

"Huh? I'll raise my cousin's daughter," Ector's eyes widened.

"I'm really sorry for bothering you, but you're the only person we could trust," the blue mage said, "will you accept her?"

"I'll take her in," Merlin handed the infant to the knight.

"Before you leave, Merlin, how will I raise Arturia?"

"You will raise her as your son. You need to train her to become a knight."


	3. Revealing

_Arturia's POV_

_Ten years have passed..._

I rode on my gray horse, Summer, at the fields. I enjoy riding after a long day of chores and sword practice.

"Arty! Hey Arty!" I chose to ignore that person because it was just my obnoxious big brother, Kay. I personally hate the stupid nickname Arty!

"Arty! Why won't you pay attention!" My brother yelled from afar.

"You're just gonna tease me!" I stuck my tongue out.

"Arthur! Please bring Summer back to the stables and come in for supper," I better not ignore the person calling me this time because it's my father.

I quickly brought Summer to her haystacks and cleaned up.

"How was your day, Arthur?" Father asked.

"It was fun, since you allowed me to go riding for five hours instead of three," I smiled. I grabbed two turkey legs and drowned them in gravy.

I looked at Kay, who's mouth was stuffed with turkey with gravy dripping from his mouth. I sighed and grabbed a nice and clean cloth and wiped off the sauce from his mouth.

"Thanks, Arty!" He swallowed his food.

Even if Kay was thirteen and I was ten, I was way more mature and tidy than him. Even if he was a huge idiot, I loved him. I loved him more than anyone. He has the biggest place in my heart.

Before I slept, I looked for my favorite blanket. I searched for it everywhere. I ran to Kay's room. I wondered if Kay had it?

"Brother, do you have my favorite blanket?"

"Oh come on! you always think I got it from you," Kay snorted.

"Can't you at least help me find it?"

"Fine, but in one condition," my idiot brother smirked, "you have to give me all of your desserts for a week."

"Alright," my cheeks puffed.

After many hours of looking for my covers in my room, our search was in vain.

"Where are we going to find it anyway?" Kay yawned.

"Maybe in father's room," I grabbed his hand and dashed to my father's room.

Father wasn't there yet. He was out with the other knights having a discussion.

"What are you doing!" Kay sat on a chair, "we're not allowed to snoop around father's stuff."

For the first time, he was right. If any of were caught touching father's stuff without his permission, he would usually lock us in our rooms.

"I won't do anything bad, just let me look at his drawers, just in case it's there," I opened every drawer.

I saw the last drawer and took out all of it's contents. I didn't see my blanket, but instead, I found this letter.

"Whoa, what's this about?" I showed Kay the letter.

"Don't show it to me it's father's, not ours," the red head covered his eyes.

"Alright, I'll read it by myself," I opened the envelope.

I read every single word that was written. Most of its content were shocking.

"Kay, I don't think I'm your sister... Father lied to me! He lied that I was his daughter!"

I dropped the letter and ran to my room.

"What's wrong Arty!" Kay grabbed the letter and went to my room.

"I know the truth," I didn't blink at all.

"Let me read the letter," my brother's eyes scanned the paper with his orange eyes.

"Oh, I see why you ran away," he sat on the arm chair next to my bed, "I too was shocked when I read it." I rubbed my temples and took a deep breath.

"I never knew this would happen," I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Me too, I never knew you were the king's daughter," Kay wrapped around his arm around my shoulder.

"Would you still accept me even if I wasn't your real sister?"

"Of course I would!" Kay smiled, "To me you'll always be Arty! Even if we're not siblings, we're still related. You're actually my second cousin, since your mother and my father are cousins."

"I'm really glad you said that," I hugged my pillow.

"Hey, maybe when we're older I could," he didn't make I contact with me.

"You could?" I wonder what he was about to say.

"Maybe I could court you when your sixteen and when I'm nineteen," he laughed.

"Oh please, like that would ever happen," I raised one of my eyebrows.

"Hey, I was just joking!" Kay winked.

"I'll should go to sleep now," I lay myself on my bed and Kay tucked my blankets then left.

After reading that letter, I realized something. I knew why I was trained to sword fight. Now, things were starting to come back in my head.

_'Please, let my relive my days as King Arthur! Give me another chance.'_

_'I will grant your wish, but in one condition. You will have to rule as a girl to change the tragedy that has happened to Camelot.'_

_'I accept.'_

_'Very well then.'_

I remembered everything now. I have to make sure I won't mess up.

_The next day..._

"Father, might it be alright if I train to be a squire and then a knight?"

"Why do you ask that, Arthur," Sir Ector took a bite of his pie.

"Well, I know I'm not allowed to snoop around in your room and I opened you lowest drawer and found a," I said nervously.

"A letter," the knight guessed.

"I-I'm sorry for touching your belongings father. Please don't lock me in my room!" I apologized.

"It's alright, my boy! You really needed to know that piece of information, anyway." Father patted my back.

"How did you know father?" Kay wondered.

"I saw my drawer left open last night," Ector laughed.

"So, will you allow me, father?" I needed to to this for Camelot.

"Alright then, but you have to dedicate yourself to training," father said.

"May I go to my room now?" I excused myself.

"You may," father dismissed me.


	4. Jealousy

_Five years later..._

"Kay, wake up!" I shook my eighteen year old brother as he snores.

He is such a heavy sleeper.

"Father told me to wake you up!" I shook him even more.

"Wake up, please?" I took off his covers.

"Wake up, pretty pretty pleeeease?" I tried to open his eyelids. It didn't work at all.

"If you wake up, I'm going to let you hug me all day~." I sweetened my voice.

"No, it's not enough." He said while his eyes were closed.

"How about this, If you wake up, I'll give you a kiss." Gross, I can't believe I just said that!

"Really?" He opened his and smiled. He looked adorable. Actually, he really is handsome.

"No, I was just joking."

"Oh, that saddens me." He gave me a disappointing look and went back to sleep.

"If you won't wake up, I'll have to pour a bucket of cold water on your face." I threatened him.

"Alright, alright, I'll get up now!" Finally, he got out of bed.

Kay dashed out of his room and went to get breakfast. I sighed at the thought of pulling the sword out and ruling as queen. How can I do this. I remembered Merlin and Sir Ector giving me guides. They told me that I have to give time before I reveal to my kingdom my gender.

This was going to be tougher than I thought. Tomorrow is the pulling of the sword. I hope things would go well when it happens. I better prepare my armor for tomorrow.

_The next day..._

"I'm so nervous, Kay. What if they find out the truth," I hit my head against the tree. I am such nervous wreck right now. My stomach felt twisty. It was like I was about to vomit!

My adoptive brother just patted my back. I'm nothing compared to other men. They might as well know my gender. There are so many men willing to pull out the sword. I could even see Lancelot. He already met Guinevere. This is going to be more difficult than I thought. I remembered the grail telling me to prevent both of them from falling in love. But why?

I could see Guinevere hugging him really tight. They look perfect for each other. I sometimes would wonder what it felt like to be in Guinevere's place. She's such a lucky girl. Like other girls, I admit that I envy the love that Guinevere has received from many.

"What are you looking at?" Kay surprised me.

"N-nothing," I looked away.

"Were you looking at him," He pointed at a handsome blonde haired green eyed man surrounded by a flock of ladies.

"No,why him?" I rolled my eyes.

"What about him?" He pointed at a long silvered haired man with piercing blue eyes. He looked very shy.

I shook my head.

"Were you staring at that perfect couple?"

"Why? It's none of your business!" Why does he have to irritate me at this moment?

"Wait, were you looking at him." He pointed a Lancelot.

"Is it your problem?!"

"It looked like you were attracted to him, were you?" He sounded jealous. He would always accuse me of liking someone whenever I talk to someone or even look at them.

"Why would I be attracted to Lancelot?!" My brother is such an idiot sometimes.

"Seriously! You even know his name. How do you know his name?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to ignore him.

_After so many hours of Kay acting jealous..._

It was already Lancelot's turn to pull the sword out. It was already obvious that he would fail. I just realized that after him would be me. I quickly proceeded to the stone. My palms started to sweat. Everyone's eyes were fixed on me. I could hear laughing and whispers.

"He's too scrawny to pull the sword," I overheard.

I took a deep breath and laid my right hand on the sword.

'One, ... two, ... three,' I counted.

I closed my eyes and pulled the sword out.

I turned around and saw some people cheering for me and some were filled with jealousy. I could see Lancelot smiling at me, so I smiled back. He came to me and congratulated me. I don't remember this part when I pulled out the sword in past life.

"I think you were great out there, Arthur. You're name is Arthur, right?" he told me.

"Yes, that's my name. Why did you think so? I thought I looked like huge coward," I wondered if he really meant it.

"You pulled the sword out, even when others were making such terrible insults behind your back. Even if your frightened, you still went on. It's quite fascinating," he complimented.

"Thanks for saying that," It was hard for me to make eye contact, since I felt uncomfortable. Actually, I felt really awkward.

"Oh, how rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself. I am Lancelot," he bowed.

'I already know your name,' I thought to myself.

"Laaancelot, there you are! I've been looking for you," Guinevere hugged Lancelot from behind.

Guinevere could be quite clingy at times. She would only act nice if you're not a potential rival into winning Lancelot's heart. She was really nice to me. Actually, that only happened because she does not know my gender.

"Aren't you the little guy who pulled the sword?" The princess of Cameliard asked.

"I am, your majesty." I bowed down.

I wonder if it was obvious to Guinevere that I was a lady. She was looking at me like as if she knew it.

"Guinevere, this is Arthur." He introduced.

"Lancelot, it seemed like took a liking to Arthur." Guinevere whispered to his ear.

"He is a good guy." He said.

"No, I meant, you look like you're in love with her." The brunette narrowed her amethyst purple eyes.

"Arthur's a man, Guinevere. I know he looks like a girl with his hair tied in a bun, or his really small stature, or his feminine face."

Lancelot and Guinevere were whispering stuff to each other. I have this sick feeling they were talking about me. Great, I think Guinevere really knew it. I knew I should have worn more padding. I should have trimmed my hair shoulder length, so I could have looked a little more masculine, like in my past life. I keep on forgetting. Now my hair is thigh length and wavy.

"Excuse me, Arthur. Can we talk, in private?" Guinevere smiled sweetly.

"Of course, milady." I followed her.

She lead me deeper in the woods, where no one could see us.

"What do you need, princess?" What does she want, anyway?

Her eyes stared at me for a very long time.

"I need nothing, just turn around." she sweetened her voice even more.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just turn around, please." I did as she said.

She pulled out the ribbon in my hair.

"What the?" My hair hair fell out of it's bun, but it's still fixed.

"Just as I thought." Guinevere walked around me.

"I knew you were a lady. The way you walk and and the way you look, I knew you were a girl."

"Yes, I am a girl. What is your problem?" I hissed.

"Are you trying to court _my _Lancelot?" her voice was filled with venom.

_Actually, I really want to split these two apart! Because of their public displays of affection, everything went wrong. Guinevere is just so stubborn. Every time I would tell her to make her relationship a secret, more rumors start spreading. And every time she got into trouble, we had to save her. She's a typical damsel-in-distress. Lancelot deserves a better person. Someone angelic, unselfish, brave, can fight, kind, and **less clingy.** _

"Why would I do that?" I rolled my eyes.

"The way he looked at you a while ago, it sickened me," She was staring daggers at me, "look at yourself, you look like a goddess compared to me with your pale milky white skin, your long golden blonde hair, your jewel-like jade green eyes, your rosy face, and your disgustingly pink lips. You could seduce Lancelot, but I won't allow it."

_I look like a goddess? Seriously?! _

"Me? Seduce your lover? You have got to be joking me! I would never do that." I would never seduce anyone.

Guinevere was about throw more accusations at me, until Lancelot arrived.

"Guinevere!" He embraced the delicate princess.

"Arthur, I didn't you'd be here," he stared at me, "and I didn't know you had such long hair. You almost looked like a princess." Is that the best he could say?

You almost looked like a princess, really?

This was getting awkward, you know, Guinevere and Lancelot hugging and me just watching them.

"I better go." I said.

I left the woods and looked for Kay. I wonder where that idiot headed off. I went back to the place where I pulled out the sword

"Merlin, what are you doing here?"

The mage turned around answered, "I wanted to congratulate you."

He patted my head.

I knew it! He left me.

"I could tell the look on your face. Kay went home already." he pointed to the direction going where he went.

When I arrived home, I saw Kay munching on an apple.

"Sorry that I left you, I just got so hungry." he said innocently.

He had some apple bits on his chin, so I grabbed a cloth and wiped it off.

"Ah, memories," he sighed, "I remembered when you would always wipe my mouth when we were younger."

I smiled at him.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that your coronation day is next month." My brother reminded me.

"Thanks for telling me that, I guess." I grabbed an apple from the table and took a bite.

Kay laughed out of nowhere like a complete fool.

"What?" I turned around.

"So, what did Lancelot think about your long golden locks?" He took another bite of his apple.

"Why should care about what he thinks?" I turned my head.

"I think he finds you really pretty. Arty! Someone actually finds Arty pretty?" I shook my head.

"I don't think so. I thought he found me queer, since he knows I'm a man. Wouldn't it be unusual to see a man with a girl's appearance," I reasoned.

"Kind of," he went outside and fed the horses.

I went upstairs and took a rest in my room.

'In a month I will be crowned as king. I have to make the right move,' I thought.

_I have to prepare..._

* * *

Thanks for reading!

BTW, This is just the fourth part of the intro. This is not the first chapter, that's why it doesn't seem detailed or storyish.

I'll try my best to be a better writer.

PS. I suck at making intros, I'm so sorry if I let readers down T_T

I don't who to make Arthur end up with...

Lancelot x Arthur or Bedivere x Arthur or Kay x Arthur or Gawain x Arthur?

Reviews and suggestions, please?


	5. Crowned

I stood in front of the altar facing the cross that was in the center of the church. That's funny. When I was crowned as king in my past life, I wasn't so nervous. I was so sure of my self. But now, I'm starting doubt everything. The fact that I have new tasks. Like what? Prevent Lancelot and Guinevere from staying together and rule as a girl. I set aside the task on preventing the two from being together and thought of how to reveal everything.

What would my people say?

I sighed at thought of the terrible things that could happen when I shall reveal everything.

"Arthur Celas Uther Pendragon, do you promise to serve your kingdom with all your power?" The bishop said.

"I do promise. I vow to all of you that I will serve Camelot with all my power and authority." I answered.

"Do you promise to abide the laws and give justice to all citizens equally?" The bishop asked.

"I acknowledge."

"I can see the potential you hold strongly. You appear to be determined to make this kingdom greater. You do deserve this crown." The bishop placed the crown on my head and handed me the royal scepter and the sovereign's orb.

"Turn around, child." I did what the bishop told me.

I faced my people grasping on the scepter and orb nervously.

"I therefore pronounce Arthur Celas Uther Pendragon as the new leader of Camelot." The bishop announced.

Many sounds of clapping, whistling, and howling can be heard. I could see father and Kay cheering for me. Today was the start of my kingship. This is where I start panicking. How can this be easy?

* * *

Sorry if this chapter was really short. I just wanted to show the coronation scene. This chapter is still part of the introduction.


	6. Present Day

_A year has passed..._

Every single day was the same.

I usually receive letters from kings regarding marriage contracts with their daughters, practicing archery and sword-fighting, eating with my knights, making hard decisions, visiting my horse, and more daily jobs. These days were like an endless cycle. Everything in my kingly life had to do with me sitting on my throne. Nothing ever changed. I wish there was something new.

And there was...

That change didn't help at all. It was the event that I feared the most. I knew I messed up big time.

A messenger was sent to give me an announcement from King Leodegrance. I remembered this event. It was when I accepted to marry Guinevere. I feared this the most. I felt cold sweat dripping from my forehead. My knights noticed the tense expression my face was holding. All of them had worried looks plastered on their faces. I didn't want them to see me like this.

I quickly ran to the stables and tried to recall everything. I remembered that I had to choices after accepting the marriage, it was either get married quickly or try and get to know Guinevere and get married when we want to. In my past life, I foolishly picked the first one. This time, I'm giving the second choice a chance. That means Guinevere is going to live in _my _palace as my fiance. Which also means she has a greater freedom to see Lancelot.

The entire thought about that made my head ache. I laid my head on the haystack. I closed my eyes and took a nap, not caring if others were looking for me.

"Have you seen the king?" Many were looking for me. I ignored them and continued to take a nap.

I had a peaceful slumber. I was dreaming of the kingdom I longed for. It was where I could just be myself and enjoy what was happening. A place where carrying heavy burdens have payed off. My wishes were like childish ideals.

"King Arthur!" My eyes snapped open. A knight came towards the stable. I heard his footsteps getting louder and louder.

I quickly hid in a huge pile of oats. I started getting jittery. My palms were starting to sweat like crazy. I know what your thinking right now. Why would a king hide under a pile of oats? He did that to escape the nightmares of marriage. Yes, marrying Guinevere was like nightmare.

"You're majesty." He called out.

I felt safe, but what I didn't notice was that my fingers were exposed, they weren't hidden in the oat pile.

"I know your hiding in there. Why are you hiding in horse food?" He grabbed my hand. It was Lancelot. He was so tall. A gentle smile was on his face.

"It was nothing." I turned my head.

"It was obvious that you wanted to deny the union. I would be nice though. You get to marry the prettiest girl, take care of her, protect her, save her, and love her." He said.

"Well, Guinevere is pretty. It's just that my goals are different. I thought you loved her. Wouldn't it break you to see her in someone else's arms?" I tried to walk away.

"It would, but your needs are more important than the princess, your lordship." He followed.

"Please, don't call me that. Just call me Arthur when we're alone." I smiled.

"May I have a request?" He asked politely.

"What do you need?"

"Would it be alright if we get to hangout sometime?" He requested.

"I guess so. It gets really lonely when your king. I thought of you as a distant friend, anyway." I stated simply.

"That would be lovely." He walked away.

* * *

'So much for everything!' I thought as I walked back to the throne room.

I opened the huge doors and saw the messenger looking very nervous. It looks like he was frightened with my knights. I think Bors terrified him the most, he stood tall glaring at him. He looked like he was about to murder that pitiful messenger. I never thought Bors was scary anyway. His appearance was fine. He looked a lot like that wretched Gilgamesh with his hair down, but with pale skin, chilly blue eyes, and jet black hair. He was devilishly handso- What! Did I just say that? Oh sorry!

"I apologize if you have waited too long good sir." I entered the the room.

"Thank goodness you arrived, your kingship!" He bowed and handed me the letter.

"Hmm." It's like the king of Carmeliard was desperate to have his daughter get married.

"Will you accept this?" The messenger's voice was shaky.

"I will, but in one condition. We will not get married the next day, the next week, the next month, or the next year. Tell his majesty Leodegrance that there is no need to rush the marriage." I calmly ordered.

The messenger left the throne room quickly with fear written all over his face.

I turned around and saw my knights whispering things to each other.

"Well, if you want to say anything, spit it out." I raised a brow.

"N-nothing!" Most of them said.

"Go on, you have the permission." I tried to sound less kingly or regal.

"I was just wondering why you ran away a while ago. Pardon the intrusion, but where did you hide anyway?" Gawain took a step forward. _Wow, what a brave soul_!

"M-me?! I-I hid in the stables, under the pile of oats." I said in embarrassment.

Most of them laughed.

"Sorry for laughing, your lordship." The half Norwegian knight apologized.

"No, it's alright. It did sound a little queer." I smiled.

"You really are such a nice uncle!" He happily exclaimed.

"Please, don't call me that. It makes me feel old. I'm just sixteen years old." I said as I laid my crown on the throne.

_My life is turning to an even bigger headache..._

"Where are you headed off to, King Arthur?" Bedivere questioned.

"I'm just heading to my room." I replied, not looking at his face.

"Oh, alright. If you need anything, just call."

"Sure." I continued walking.

* * *

Suggestions, please? :D :) :'D :-)


	7. Tiny Bit of Freedom

~o~o~o~O~o~o~o~

I plopped myself on bed. I looked at the table, sitting on it was my gown. It was a tube top with a long flowing skirt. The dress was pure white and had golden trimmings on the bodice, it had a thin golden belt, and the skirt's flounce had golden trimmings with small golden suns on it. This was the only way to have a tiny bit of freedom.

I put on the dress and let my hair down. My back was exposed. I wasn't used to these types of clothing, since I was brought up as a boy. I stood in front of the mirror and brushed my thigh length hair. Surprisingly, my hair wasn't tangled. I sat on my bed and looked at my window. It was getting darker.

"You're majesty, it's supper time. Please go downstairs." A servant knocked on the door.

"Is it alright if you brought my food in my room?" I requested.

"As you wish, your highness." The servant left.

'I wish I could go outside...' I thought to myself.

Huh? I thought I heard someone whispering to me.

...

_'It looks like you want a taste of freedom, right?'_ That voice was so sweet and gentle.

"How are you so sure?" I think that voice was the grail's. It almost sounded like Irisviel.

_'I could see the longing in your eyes. It's alright to roam around the castle as a girl, anyway. Just don't get caught.'_

"Are you sure?" I hope this wasn't a trick.

_'Of course it is. Like what I said, just make sure no one sees you.'_

"If you say so."

I grabbed my hooded cloak and sneaked out of my room. I hid in the shadows, so no one could see me. I ran up to the spiral staircase that leads to one of the towers. I accidentally scraped my knee after falling off on of the steps.

"Wow." This scenery was breathtaking. I could see everything from up here. I could see the stars twinkling beautifully like diamonds in the night sky. I ran to the edge of the tower and and tried to admire the scene even more. The wind blew my hair. It felt good. The whole thing going on right now felt good. I closed my eyes and tried to feel peacefulness.

"Hey, aren't any of excited to my uncle's pretty fiance?"

Huh? Was that Gawain?

"Not really. Princess Guinevere's not that appealing, for me."

"Wow, we're talking about Lancelot's girl, here."

"Lady Guinevere is not mine. She already belongs to King Arthur."

Wait, he's with Bors and Lancelot. I hid behind one of the pillars to listen even more. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but this seemed very interesting to me.

"Wow, cousin, you're just letting her go that fast. Wouldn't it be hard for you?" Bors scratched the back of his head.

"It would be hard for me, but the king's happiness has more value." Lancelot stated.

"You care for my uncle too much, just like Bedivere. Both of you keep on putting uncle in your first priorities." Gawain said with awe.

Hearing this made me feel better. I thought no one cared for me. This eavesdropping made me feel uncomfortable. I better go back to my bedroom.

Swiftly, I hid from pillar to pillar, making sure to get past from the three. I was about to reach the room the leads to the staircase, until I tripped on my skirt and scraped me knee again. The wound of my knee deepened and bled even more. Instead of having a quiet fall, a loud thud was heard.

The three knights heard the fall and rushed to where the sound might have come from and spotted me. They saw me leaning on one of the pillars trying get my balance. Gawain ran to me. He quickly brought out his sword, the Excalibur Galatine, and pointed it at my neck.

"Who are you and are you doing here, intruder? Answer me!" His voice was filled with hostility. Darn it, I forgot my sword. I'm defenseless at this moment.

"I, well... I tripped and umm... Well, I got lost in the palace and I-I... Could you stop pointing that sharp weapon on my neck, please?" I didn't know what to answer.

"How are you so sure your not an assassin?" He brought the blade even closer to my neck. He was quite frightening at this moment.

"Gawain! Just stop threatening her. I don't think someone who doesn't have that much stealth could be an assassin. Look at her, she's helpless. She also looks innocent." Bors tried to cut in. He gave me a hand and let me up.

"Thank you, good sir." I thanked him.

"Anything for someone in need." He smiled. I think I melte- What?! I-I did not just think about that...

Before I could walk out or escape, Lancelot blocked my way.

"You're not from here, are you? I have never seen you yet." He asked in a polite manner.

"Me? It's complicated. I think wouldn't understand the situation I'm going through." I sighed.

"Do you want me to assist you? You might not know the way out of this palace." He offered.

"I'm fine on my own." I replied.

"Are you sure? You might get hurt or get lost." He said in a caring tone.

"I have to go!" I felt so uncomfortable that I ran quickly to the staircase leading to the hallway near my room. One of my slippers fell, but I never cared, anyway.

"Wait, You left your slipper!" I heard him from afar.

...

Yes! No one was loitering in the hallway. The whole place was empty. No one could find me. I grabbed my skirt, so I wouldn't trip on it, making sure I wouldn't get caught. I could see the door! I quickly grabbed the knob and shut the door.

'That was close.' I thought.

I grabbed bandages,oil, a clean cloth, and ointment from my cabinet and sat on my bed, to treat my wounded knee. It stung a little.

Trying to recall what happened in the tower made me smile a bit. Maybe it's because I encountered what it felt like to have someone genuinely worry about your circumstances. I blushed a little when I remembered Lancelot concerned with me. It made me feel like a girl. I never cared about these things in my past life. Never. But now, my thoughts on feeling like a girl have changed.

I changed into my sleepwear and lay myself to slumber. I let thoughts wander into the vast field of my dreams.

Will he ever find me?

...

_Meanwhile at the Tower..._

"Lance, you should stop looking at that slipper. What's with that girl, anyway?" Bors said as he looked at the silver moon.

"I don't know. It's just that the girl from a while ago was mysterious. She was so graceful and captivating." Lancelot smiled as he stared at the white slipper bordered with gold.

"You know what? I kind of regret threatening the girl. She did look adorable." Gawain blushed.

"Do you think I'll ever see her again?" Lancelot wondered out loud.

"I don't know... If you do see her, could you bring her to me?" The blonde knight chuckled.

* * *

Suggestions, please? :D :) :'D :-)


	8. Unknown

~o~o~o~O~o~o~o~

? POV

Every single day my hatred grew. Father put so much faith in me. I tried to reach his expectations, but I failed. He knew that I would've been the one who pulled the sword out. I wasn't able to pull the Caliburn.

Father was very disappointed. I started training at the age of seven. Yes, it's really an early age. I put my heart and soul into every second of training, yet the outcome was nothing. My training was a waste. My father pushed me through my limits, teaching me many things on how I could rule _my _kingdom in the future.

Even if I did fail, father said everything will be alright. He said he'll look for my older twin. I was quite shocked to learn this. Things didn't turn out so right after he mentioned it.

Many days after I learned about having an older sibling, Mother and Father would tend to talk about her. They would always say, "What would it be like if we didn't give her instead?". It was implying that they wished they gave me away instead of her. Many more days of this usual chatter and it's like I was invisible.

This type of painful treatment, I felt so useless. I wish that I pulled the sword out, so I could win back the affections of my dear parents. It was all what I wanted. I didn't need riches, power, or land.

I got so fed up of my father that I did the least thing I expected.

I poisoned him...

My father was in a long coma. Mother put his body in a room and made sure it wasn't found by others. She believed that he would wake up. I do too, since I have the solution until now. I had the elixir that could awaken him, but I didn't know what to do or say. I had kept this a secret.

It tore me to pieces. I had to lie to my mother that the servant who handed him the goblet was the one who poisoned him. Mother ordered the servant who I accused to be whipped twenty times and be hanged in front of the whole kingdom. His children saw the whole horrific event.

Until now, I wish that I didn't commit such crime. I ran away from the palace and lived with my half-sister.

I hid...

Knowing that father was in a coma and I had ran away, the kingdom was unorganized. Mother held an event where all men from different lands may pull the sword out. I never knew that _she_ would take part.

My wretched twin pulled the sword out. She was crowned as king.

I promised myself that someday I will destroy her. I had heard many stories of her victories, but I _will_bring _her_ downfall.


	9. Suggestions?

~o~o~o~O~o~o~o~

It's been a week since I received that letter.

Tomorrow is _her_ arrival, huh? I crumpled that cursed letter and prepare a decent room for the princess. I looked for nice things to put in her room. I made her bed sheets royal purple, gathered a bouquet of flowers to put by the window, bought some gowns for her at the village, and cleaned her room. She better be thankful.

I came out of the princess' room and saw a huge door guarded by unfamiliar knights. They looked like my father's knights. When I meant father, I meant Uther Pendragon. They were quite serious with their work.

"Excuse me, but what's in that door?" I said out of curiosity.

"None of yer business!" One of them said sternly.

"It is my business. I am the king of this palace." I quietly stated.

"It is our duty to follow King Uther and Queen Igraine's command." The knight shot back.

"If it's true, I shall leave. I apologize for the intrusion." I turned around.

"Very well then, princess."

"What did you say?" I glared.

"It was nothing." They replied.

...

_At the knight's meeting..._

'I don't even understand what's going on in my life.' I stared blankly at the round table. I couldn't concentrate during this discussion. My hearing felt choppy or blurred.

"You're majesty, were you even listening?"

"Wha-?!" I looked up and saw Gawain.

"Were there recent attacks?" I asked.

"You weren't listening. For the past few weeks, there were no attacks or crimes." Gawain said.

"I'm sorry." I huffed.

"No need to apologize, uncle. You were in a deep thought anyway." I felt so embarrassed. For one whole hour, I wasn't speaking or anything.

"Since there were no crimes or attacks, can any of you report to me interesting recent happenings?" I said while fixing the placement of my crown and cape.

"Sir Gawain, Sir Lancelot, and I have met a mysterious lady." Bors stood up.

"Interesting. Could you share to us the details, Lancelot?" I said in a bored tone.

"The girl... She stood at the edge of the tower. She had a small stature. She had long golden blonde hair and big green eyes. Her face was covered with innocence. She wore a white dress with gold trimmings. She moved gracefully. She was as beautiful as a nymph or faerie. The girl was frightened when we approached her." The knight of the Lake said with awe.

_He still remembered. I better act like it was nothing._

"She sounds pretty!" Sir Tristan exclaimed. His honey colored eyes widened.

"This is not worth listening to." Sir Agravain rolled his eyes. Honestly, I think Gawain is way nicer than this guy. He's cold and blunt. He was the one who exposed Lancelot and Guinevere. He always gave me cold glares.

"Do you have any proof?" Sir Lamorak questioned.

"I do." Lancelot brought out a white slipper with gold trimmings.

_He still kept it_...

"Is this hers?" I played innocent. It's hard to believe that my best knight kept that slipper. I feel a little flattered.

"It is." He answered.

"What are you going to do then?" I raised both of my eyebrows.

"I'll try to return the slipper, you're majesty."

_Return it? How can you even find me? How can you be so sure if you take it to the right person?_

_Why am I even asking this? Why am I so worried? It's not like I want to be found._

"Why?" I let out a sigh.

"The girl... It's like I have met her in the past. Maybe, I'll be able to recollect the memories we shared." He took a deep breath.

"Why are we even discussing this? This is pointless!" Agravain rudely interrupted.

_Stupid Agravain! Why did you have to say that?! I was about to know more..._

"Lancelot?" I called out.

"Hm?"

"Is it alright if we discuss this at the gardens?" I requested.

"I'd be glad to, your lordship." He smiled.

"Very well. May we have any suggestions to improve this kingdom?" I asked.

"I have one." Sir Tristan raised his hand. "We could start out with improvements for you, your majesty."

"And what that might be?"

"Your majesty, you could be less cold and at least show more emotion." He nervously answered.

"How?"

"For starters, you could smile a little. Some people are frightened with your icy manner." He was right. I was quite cold around others. I never smiled or anything. It was pretty hard. I had to conceal my true self. I used to think that no one would understand my situation. Knowing what was really going on, it was hard for me to experience to really feel freedom.

"Thank you, Sir Tristan. Anyone else has a suggestion?" I looked at my other knights. I should really try doing that. Maybe it would lighten the freezing, dark mood and atmosphere of the castle.

Most of them shook their heads. They seemed frightened.

"No?"

"King Arthur, most our suggestions are related to Sir Tristan's." Sir Lamorak stated.

"Alright. Thank you, all of you, for attending anyway." I grabbed my scrolls and went ahead of the the others with Lancelot.

"To the gardens, you're majesty?"

"To the gardens, it is, Sir Lancelot."


	10. Wonder

~o~o~*~O~*~o~o~

_At the gardens..._

I sat on one of the stone benches beside Lancelot. He seemed a bit tense.

"So, about the girl..." I felt really uncomfortable. I tried fiddling with my cape to feel less awkward. "How do you think she was linked to a fragment of your past?"

Everything was silent at this moment. Not a single sound was heard at this time. It was just my voice and the wind softly blowing anything in its path.

"She felt so familiar. It was like it was really her." Lancelot's eyes were face on the soft grass swinging through the breeze.

"Who?" I cocked my head to his direction.

_This is interesting..._

"My childhood friend." He took a deep breath not making eye contact with me. "I first met her when I found her asleep under a tree in the forest. She was all alone."

"Could you explain to me how both of you met?" I was eager to know more.

_Flashback..._

_A small boy was wandering alone in the forest. It was part of his daily routine. He would usually visit the Lady of the Lake. Today was different. Along his path was a girl taking slumber under an oak tree. The little boy came closer only to awaken the little girl. He was very curious about this girl, knowing that it was rare to see someone his age at this location. _

_"What do you want?" The little girl asked defensively, arms crossed over her chest. Her green jewel-like eyes were gleaming with anger mixed with fear._

_"N-nothing... I was just wondering why someone like you would stay in a dangerous place like this." The young lad's voice trembled._

_Long golden hair...__Shining green eyes...__Pale skin...__Rosy face..._

_"If you question why I am here, I'll ask you, why are you here?" _

_"I usually come here to visit my friend. How about you?" The little boy smiled._

_"I wanted to take a nap here, since my brother won't stop bothering me." She answered flatly._

_"How was your sleep, then?" He sat beside the little girl. _

_"You had the nerve to ask that. Yeah, my nap was nice... Until you arrived!" The little girl snapped._

_The little boy continued to stare at the girl. 'She is so adorable!' he thought. _

_"What are you looking at?!" The little girl raised a brow._

_..._

"And that was how we first met." Lancelot smiled reminiscing a part of his childhood.

I just sat there. It's like everything he said was connected to a small part of my past.

Wait... Lancelot was the little boy who I would meet every single day. He was the one who play knight with me.

_"You'll be the princess and I'll be the knight." A young Lancelot brought out his wooden sword. _

_"Princess?! I wanna be a knight too!" _

_"Fine, you could be a knight." He gave me another wooden sword._

I really do wonder if that was him.

"When was the last time you her?" My palms started sweating.

"It was a very long time. After the last time I saw, I saw a letter left in the usual place we met in the forest." Lancelot took a deep breath.

_I'm sorry couldn't meet you the last time. And maybe the last moment we see each other will really be the last one. __I'm really sorry. My father says that I have lost focus in my training because of meeting you. He says I haven't been paying attention to my daily work. I tried reason out with father, but he still forbade me from seeing you. __And one last thing, please don't forget me. I want you to remember me. I hope we cross paths in the future._

"I never saw her again... I would take any chances to see my dear friend. Even if others tell me it's just a silly childhood, I still miss her. She was the one who filled the empty wholes in my heart." He took another deep breath.

Now, I really think it was him. I remembered giving a letter to my friend, before I stopped seeing him. I feel a little guilty now. Lancelot still remembers me and he would do anything to see me. Until now, he still cares. And I've forgotten about him.

"Where do you think she is right now?" I avoided his gaze.

"She's probably a housewife right now." There was a bit of sadness in his voice.

"How could you tell?"

"People who live in the villages get married earlier than knights or royalties." He simply explained.

"If you had the idea that she is happily married, what would your reaction be? Be honest." This is getting a little too personal.

"If she was, I'd be glad. But it's like the holes in my heart would form. If she was happy with someone else, I'd feel hollow and lonely." Lancelot gave his most genuine answer.

"What about Princess Guinevere?" I think that question brings up everything.

"I do love her, but whenever I think about my childhood friend, Guinevere starts to fade. Lately, I've been wondering if I should accept that she'll marry you." He seemed confused.

"Lancelot... I too, am really wondering about that. I don't know if I want this union. I promised myself that this time I'll make a great change myself. I want to fall in love without regretting about that act. I want to let out my feelings to someone who'd understand me." Keep it together! If this conversation goes on, I might reveal everything.

"You know what Arthur, you kind of remind me of my friend." He smiled.

"In what way?" I tried to feel less awkward.

"You act like her, you talk like her, and you even look like her. When I'm next you, I feel like she's there." He said.

"Oh..." I felt the heat rising from my cheeks.

I felt a hand pull the ribbon of my hair.

"Wha-!" Not again! I experienced this with Guinevere. My hair fell on my shoulders. Lancelot pulled me near him. His arm snaked around my waist and his other hand on my cheek. His face was so close to mine. The tension was rising. He lowered his face anymore. Darn it! He misses his friend so much that he thinks I'm her. Actually, I am her, but still. I can't break free, his grip was quite strong. I couldn't do anything, so I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Arthur." He let go of me.

"It's fine. I forgive you, but if you do that to me in front of the other knights, you'll pay." I said playfully.

"Thank you. I didn't know what came to me. It's just that I see her in you." He blushed.

"Yeah. If you didn't let go of me, you would have kissed me." I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Yeah, I almost kissed the king. It won't be such a bad thing." He chuckled.

I lifted my head and saw the sun setting down the mountains. It was a nice scene.

"It's getting late. I think we should get inside the castle." I suggested.

"May I escort you to your room, Arthur?" Lancelot offered.

"Yes, you may." I smiled.

"You know, you really look feminine right now. I could almost fall for you, if you really were a lady."

"Thank you, I guess." I looked away from his face. Darn, I'm blushing again! I'm not blushing because of Lancelot!

...

"I appreciate you taking me to my room, Sir Lancelot." I stood by the door of my room.

"Anything for the king." He was about to leave.

"King? You only see me as the king. Lancelot, don't believe in everything you see. You might be deceived, if you really see who I am." I closed the door.


End file.
